What Happens After You Match on Domkaspot: From First Message to Moving In

What Your Compatibility Score Means

Your match comes with a compatibility score that reflects how well your living preferences, personality traits, and lifestyle patterns align. This score is calculated using weighted compatibility scoring across multiple dimensions.

• Lifestyle alignment: Sleep schedules, noise tolerance, cleanliness standards, and social habits
• Personality compatibility: Based on Big Five personality dimensions including openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness
• Practical preferences: Budget range, preferred neighborhoods, move-in timeline, and lease duration
• Social preferences: Guest policies, shared spaces usage, and communication style

Review Their Profile Thoroughly

Before messaging, read your match's full profile. Look at their bio, their lifestyle preferences, their move-in timeline, and any specific requirements they have listed. This serves two purposes: it helps you decide if this is someone you genuinely want to explore living with, and it gives you conversation starters that show you have taken the process seriously.

Pay particular attention to any dealbreakers. If they have specified no smoking and you are a smoker, or if their budget range does not overlap with yours, it is better to recognize this early rather than after an awkward first conversation.

What to Include in Your First Message

A strong first message typically covers a few key areas without being overwhelming. Keep it to 3-5 sentences.

• A friendly greeting and your name. Simple but essential. 'Hi, I'm Anna' is perfectly fine
• Something specific from their profile. 'I saw you're also looking in the Mokotow area' shows you paid attention
• A brief introduction of yourself. What you do, why you are in the city, your general living style
• A question to keep the conversation moving. Ask about their timeline, their work schedule, or what they are looking for in a flatmate
• Your availability for a call. Suggesting a video chat early on signals you are serious

First Message Mistakes to Avoid

Some approaches tend to kill conversations before they start.

• Generic copy-paste messages. 'Hey, interested in sharing?' feels impersonal and lazy
• Overly long introductions. Save the life story for the video call
• Jumping straight to logistics. 'When can you sign the lease?' is too aggressive for a first message
• No question included. Without a question, the other person has nothing to respond to
• Multiple messages before they reply. Send one message and wait. Patience is key

Essential Topics to Discuss

These are the conversations that prevent problems later. Cover them naturally over the course of your messaging.

• Daily routines: When do you wake up and go to bed? Do you work from home? How do you spend evenings?
• Cleanliness expectations: How clean is clean enough? Who takes out the trash? How often should common areas be cleaned?
• Guest and partner policies: How often can partners stay over? Are parties acceptable? How much notice for overnight guests?
• Financial expectations: How will you split rent, utilities, and shared supplies? What is each person's budget?
• Communication style: Do you prefer to address issues immediately or wait? Are you comfortable with direct feedback?
• Pet and allergy considerations: Any pets planned? Severe allergies to be aware of?
• Move-in timeline: When exactly are you looking to start? How long do you plan to stay?

Reading Between the Lines

How someone communicates during the messaging phase often reveals a lot about how they will be as a flatmate. If they are slow to respond, that may mean they are busy or it may mean they are disorganized. If they avoid answering specific questions about cleanliness or finances, that could be a warning sign.

Trust your instincts but give people reasonable benefit of the doubt. Cultural differences can also affect communication style, especially in Poland's international housing market where you might be chatting with someone from a very different background. Check our guide on flatmate green flags and red flags for more on what to look for.

Setting Up the Call

Suggest a video call after 2-5 days of good messaging. Most people use WhatsApp, Google Meet, or Zoom. Pick a time that works for both of you, accounting for any time zone differences if one of you has not yet arrived in Poland.

Find a quiet, well-lit space. Treat it like an informal interview: you are both evaluating each other, and that is completely normal and healthy.

What to Cover During the Call

Use the call to go deeper on the topics you discussed via message, and to get a sense of each other's personality and communication style.

• Revisit daily routine and lifestyle expectations in more detail
• Discuss specific apartment preferences: location, size, must-haves versus nice-to-haves
• Talk about how you would handle disagreements or issues that come up
• Share your housing search timeline and any apartments you have already seen
• If you both have a specific apartment in mind, discuss how you would divide rooms and shared spaces
• Ask about references from previous flatmates if applicable

After the Call: Making Your Decision

After the video call, give yourself a day to reflect. Ask yourself: did the conversation flow naturally? Did you feel comfortable? Could you imagine coming home to this person after a long day? If the answer is yes, move to the next step. If you are unsure, it is perfectly acceptable to have a second call or to continue messaging.

If you decide this is not the right match, be honest and direct. A simple 'I've enjoyed chatting but I think we might not be the best fit for living together' is respectful and appreciated.

Searching as a Team

Having a confirmed flatmate gives you a significant advantage in the housing market. You can search for larger, better-value apartments that would be too expensive alone. Two-bedroom and three-bedroom flats offer much better per-person value than studios.

Use Domkaspot's housing listings to browse verified apartments in your preferred neighborhoods. You can also check platforms like Otodom and OLX, though these require more caution regarding scams. See our guide on the best housing platforms in Poland for a detailed comparison.

Divide the search: each person can cover different platforms or neighborhoods and share promising listings. Set up a shared document or chat group to track apartments you both like.

Viewing Apartments

Whenever possible, view apartments together. Two sets of eyes catch more issues than one. If one of you is not yet in Poland, the person who is there can do the in-person viewing while video calling the other person for a virtual walkthrough.

During viewings, check beyond the obvious: water pressure, heating system condition, natural light, noise levels, internet speed capability, and the building's general state. Ask the landlord about the lease terms, deposit amount, czynsz (administration fee), and what is included.

Lease Considerations for Shared Housing

There are several common lease arrangements for shared housing in Poland.

• Joint lease: Both names are on the lease. You share equal responsibility. This is the most secure option for both parties
• Primary tenant + subtenant: One person signs the main lease and the other has a sublease agreement. Check that the main lease allows subletting
• Separate room contracts: Some landlords, especially in purpose-built shared housing and co-living spaces, offer individual room contracts. This gives each person independent security

Before You Sign: The Checklist

Before committing, make sure you and your flatmate have agreed on these practical details.

• How is rent split? Equal or proportional to room size?
• Who pays rent to the landlord? One person or each person separately?
• How are utilities tracked and divided?
• What happens if one person wants to move out early?
• Have you read and understood every clause in the lease? (Get it translated if it is only in Polish)
• Have you documented the apartment condition with photos and a protocol?
• Is the deposit amount and return terms clear in writing?

The First Week Together

The first week of living together sets the foundation for your entire flatshare. Use this time to establish ground rules and routines.

Set up a shared system for bills and household expenses. Apps like Splitwise work well for tracking who owes what. Agree on a cleaning schedule, even a simple one. Decide on shared purchases like cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and basic kitchen staples.

Most importantly, establish open communication from day one. Small annoyances that go unaddressed become major conflicts over time. A simple house meeting once a month, even just 15 minutes over coffee, can prevent most flatmate problems before they start. For more tips, check our guide on how to split bills fairly with roommates.

Tips for Long-Term Success

• Respect shared spaces. Clean up after yourself in the kitchen and bathroom immediately, not later
• Communicate changes. Got a new work schedule? Expecting a guest? Let your flatmate know in advance
• Handle conflicts early. Address issues when they are small. A polite 'hey, could you...' is much easier than a frustrated blow-up three months later
• Maintain boundaries. Living together does not mean doing everything together. Respect each other's private time and space
• Be flexible. Compromise is essential in any shared living situation. Pick your battles wisely
• Celebrate the good. Cook a meal together occasionally, share a coffee on weekends, or explore your new neighborhood as flatmates